Our ADHD Journey: What We’ve Learned, What We’re Trying, and the Moment I Realized It Wasn’t Just E

R. Murray
Feb 26
4 min read

Updated: Mar 25

E is 7½ now. But this story starts when she was 4, in preschool, when her teachers pulled us aside and mentioned something they'd been noticing. She was having trouble completing three tasks in a row .... something like washing her hands, grabbing her lunch, and sitting down at the table. Simple things that the other kids were doing without a second thought.

Her teachers were kind about it, but they said gently that they suspected ADHD. I remember sitting with that for a while. And then .... in one of those unexpected moments of clarity that I think a lot of moms of ADHD kids will relate to .... I started reading more about it. I read about hyperfocus. I read about how ADHD presents differently in women and girls. And somewhere in the middle of all that research, I realized I wasn't just reading about E. I was reading about myself.

ADHD affects approximately 11% of school-age children in the United States .... about 6.1 million kids .... according to the CDC. But one of the most underappreciated facts is how differently it presents in girls. The classic hyperactive presentation (the fidgety boy who can't sit still) is what most people picture. Girls are far more likely to show the inattentive type: daydreaming, social difficulties, emotional dysregulation, perfectionism. And as a result, girls with ADHD are diagnosed on average 2....3 years later than boys .... often not until the challenges have compounded significantly.

ADHD Presentation: Girls vs. Boys

Symptom Pattern	More Common in Boys	More Common in Girls
Hyperactivity	Yes .... visible, physical	Less common; may show as verbal
Inattention	Present	Often primary presentation
Impulsivity	Behavioral / physical	Emotional / social
Social impact	Conflict with peers	Social rejection; masking
Academic impact	Disruptive behavior flagged early	Struggles often attributed to anxiety
Co-occurring conditions	Conduct disorder, ODD	Anxiety, depression, eating disorders
Age at diagnosis	Average: 7 years	Average: 9....12 years

Source: Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology; CDC ADHD Data.

Getting E Properly Evaluated

As E got older, the signs became clearer. We decided to get her formally evaluated and found our neuropsychologist, a psychologist here in Thousand Oaks. The testing confirmed ADHD. It also revealed something that felt like a gift alongside the challenge .... E is highly gifted. Her IQ and other testing scores reflect a really remarkable mind.

our neuropsychologist was thoughtful in how he walked us through everything, and he gave us some book recommendations that have been helpful in understanding how to support her. But the thing he pushed us toward most strongly was the NeuroSigma device.

What Is the NeuroSigma Device?

The NeuroSigma Monarch eTNS device is an external trigeminal nerve stimulation device .... it's FDA-authorized for ADHD in children ages 7....12 and works by delivering a gentle electrical stimulation through a small patch on the forehead during sleep. No medication. No side effects we've noticed.

The pivotal clinical trial, published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, showed that children using the eTNS device had approximately double the ADHD symptom improvement compared to placebo over four weeks. It's not a magic bullet, but the evidence is real, and we use it on E every night. It does seem to bring some calm into her life .... a kind of settling that we notice, even if it's subtle.

What We're Doing Next

We're also starting therapy with E. One of the things we're most focused on right now is her emotional regulation .... she can be dysregulated at times, which is really common with ADHD, and we want to give her real tools to work through that. Research consistently shows that behavioral therapy combined with other interventions produces better long-term outcomes than any single treatment alone.

Our hope is that the combination of the NeuroSigma device and therapy together will support her in a meaningful way. We're early in that part of the journey and I'll share more as we go.

For now I just want to say .... if you're a parent navigating an ADHD diagnosis for your child, you're not alone. And if you're a woman who found yourself in your child's diagnosis the way I did .... you're really not alone. It's a strange and clarifying thing to go through, and it's okay if it takes some time to sit with.

Stay Connected

Enjoy these posts? Get new articles from R. Murray delivered to your inbox.

Subscribe to My Medical Journal

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

This post reflects my personal experience and is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice. Please consult your own physician before making any health decisions.